Finding Joy in the Journey

I realize this title has been used before, but it is such a wonderful reminder to me that joy truly can be found  throughout our entire life experience if we are willing to keep our eyes open and accept the things that are thrown our way. I feel like every time I write on here it is a reminder of all of the things I am blessed with which never gets old for me. I lead such a wonderful life and there is no reason why I can't be happy.

Lately I have been dealing with some things that have happened to me and I find myself getting very down. It is difficult when people say things about you that are absolutely not true and you still have to deal with the consequences. It hurts when someone doesn't trust you after your whole life trying to be the best person you can and portray an example of true integrity. I know that I am a good person. I realize that even though one person doesn't believe that I am honest, I have plenty of people in my life that know this to be true. I am blessed to be surrounded by these people who would support me in anything, especially at this moment, during this trial in my life. I appreciate those people in my life that strengthen me and remind me of who I am.

I am always trying to find the positive that comes from every situation. Sometimes it is hard to do this right away but I know for me it is the only way for me to keep from getting sad. As of my situation right now I have been trying very hard to find the positive but here are a few things I have come up with:

1. I have come so much closer to my family and true friends. To each of you: I love you and thank you for your support, advice, love and listening ears.

2. I have realized the power of words, how they can affect anyone negatively or positively.

3. I don't have to wear black everyday :)

4. I know that you are always able to change where you are, especially if you are not happy with your current situation.

5. I am able to spend more time with my family and close friends.

6. I have more time to study for finals.

7. I have found the people that care about me are doing what they can to help me find new opportunities and helping me to be happy and keep a smile on my face.

Honestly, this has been one of the more difficult weeks in my life. In no way the worst experience I've ever gone through. I realize that I am a daughter of my heavenly Father. I am blessed beyond measure. I am able to find joy in every other aspect of my life.

fall is in the air

Okay, actually in utah county it's more like winter is in the air, fall was around for about a week.. but i still love fall. i can't get enough of it actually. i Love halloween and this year was so fun, my friends and i went out all weekend to a bunch of different parties- i got to see a bunch of friends i don't see very often so it was a blast.
i love the feeling that fall brings. it's a new semester. new friends. new people. new ward. so wonderful. i know i say this every time but i feel like the people that are brought into my life are there for a reason and always are there to bless  my life in some way. i am truly grateful to those people who surround me each day, that buoy me up and help me along this road called life. for courtney, and tamara, and sydney. love you girls.
this time of year just makes me realize those things that i am so grateful for and how blessed i am. i have the best family in the world, parents that i can call at any time. siblings who openly tell me they love me even when their friends are around. a niece who loves me unconditionally. the gospel of jesus christ as a sure foundation each day. a knowledge of the atonement, the fact that i have made mistakes in my life, small and large, and that i can still be okay. there's no reason to give up. even when i feel that all is lost, i have a father in heaven that loves me and always wants to hear from me. i have a savior who suffered everything i ever have and ever will experience. i am grateful for the scriptures and the strength they bring to my life. i am so blessed for the church organization, the fact that i have a ward family here in provo, with home teachers and visiting teachers and a bishopric that all care about what's going on in my life and are always willing to help me. i am so blessed to have a healthy body that is functioning, that has no restrictions. i am blessed to live with the people i do, who are always concerned about my well being and are always willing to listen to me when i need an open ear and a shoulder to cry on. i am grateful for my sister that i can call for advice who keeps my head on straight and keeps me from doing anything too stupid, who is always willing to help me and just love me for who i am and looks out for anytime she can help me out when it comes to dating. thanks danielle. i am grateful to have family close by and that i can be close to my aunts and uncles and cousins. i just love all of them, they are all always able to bring a smile to my face. i am blessed to have a car that works that doesn't have any problems, that can take me on my 6 hour drive home at any time. i am truly grateful for the opportunity to receive an education and for parents that are so helpful and supportive of the decisions that i've made concerning my education. i am grateful also for friends parents that live so close here and have made me meals and allowed me to spend time in their homes.
 i love you all and thank you for everything you have done for me.  you've blessed my life in more ways than i could even express and i will forever be indebted to you for your love and support.
so many blessings.
the list could go on and on.
why am i so lucky?

summer

Summer has been filled with so much fun stuff and i know that everyone that follows this is just dying to know what i've been up to since april.. it is now almost august, what can i say?? i have filled my time with so much fun and so many adventures that i hope i don't leave any of them out.
 the school year ended well, i got all of the grades i expected to get for the level of studying that i did which is always such a reminder to me that if i work hard, play a little less, my grades Can be good. there isn't really an excuse for bad grades after discovering such things as the chem lab, the math lab, or who would have thought-- the Library! i Love the library and spent hours in there each day filling my brain with all the chem and bio lingo my body could handle. i am looking forward to my busy Busy schedule next semester and hope to keep my focus and not get too burnt out. it is going to be a great year though, i can already feel it!
So... back to summer vaca.
 i have had some lovely times back in idaho, just being with the family and spending so much time with them and my wonderful friends in boise. i can't even put into words the joy that i feel when i am surrounded by people i love, who love me just the same and who always accept me for the person i am. i feel like any time i have two days off of work, i am there. home truly is where the heart is and mine has never left boise.
 as everyone knows, i'm sure, my sisters, mother, and myself took a trip to a little place called new york city. we spent five days loving city life, surrounded by millions(literally) of people, the sights and sounds and smells of the city. it was an amazing experience standing with three of my favorite people on the "top of the rock" or getting all fancied up and riding around on one of those bike carts, only to find out we couldn't actually afford to be riding on them, going to Wicked and having Amazing seats that were So close, going to new jersey and getting some delicious treats from carlos' bakery, meeting the people in the show cake boss, riding a ferry and seeing the statue of liberty, walking down fifth ave, walking around ground zero, waking up to the sight of the chrysler building across the street from our hotel, walking around central park and going to church in the temple in the middle of nyc. we did a little bit of shopping and eating. NOT. that's what our days were filled with mostly, but i'm not complaining.
and since i mostly can't remember everything i've done this summer i will leave you with a few pictures from a few of the fun days and nights!

so many days spent at the pool, swimming, laying out but getting super tan

(mike, haley, michelle)

our little "hike" to bridal veil falls, not really much of a hike, more of a walk 

(regan, haley, brendan, lauren, mike, michelle)

july third watching stadium of fire from rock canyon park

(haley, courtney, michelle, sami, kiyo)

fourth of july fireworks in park city, utah

(bethany, taylor, michelle, mike, logan, regan, grant, lauren)

shooting guns at utah lake on the third of july

(haley, kiyo, sami, courtney, michelle)

heading to breakfast after the freedom parade in provo

(emily, michelle)

stargazing with all the friends in provo canyon

(sami, lane, courney, michelle)

these are just a few of the many fun things i've done this summer but i just love All the people in these pictures! they have grown to be my family down here in provo and my mom should know that they are all taking good care of me and keeping me in line!

p.s. i'm so excited for next week! mccall will be so fun! also my best friend in the whole world, Tamari, will be getting married, love her and am so happy for her! and then in two weeks my other best friend,Callie, will be getting married to my friend Parker, love those guys and am so excited for them!

from the life...and freezer...of a true college student

this week i've really been feeling what it's like to be so stressed as the semester comes to a close. i have loved being able to be back in school- there was nothing else i wanted this semester or even since moving to provo, then being a full-time student. i was honestly jealous of all the people who were in school and stressing about different papers, projects, tests, and the dreaded "finals week". i longed for that. i would get upset at hearing people complain about school. and this week i am feeling it.
 it is my first experience of real finals for a full thirteen credit class load. i admit, i've complained about having to take these tests, but to be quite honest i am so excited to say that i've done it and survived!
it will definitely be a feeling of accomplishment once wednesday at 3:00 hits and i am done for the summer and on my way back to boise to see my wonderful family knowing that all those tests are behind me and that i will be done with chemistry for a very long time.
 it has been such a good experience for me, getting to know the people in my classes so well and i think that the hardest parts about this semester being over are the memories that have been made that won't happen again,  like the moments where we laughed and joked and talked all through chemistry because our teacher didn't really know what she was talking about that day, or getting the courage to talk to the cutest boy in my biology class, or having a teacher dislike me for maybe the second time in my life, or staying up all night to watch a movie and write a paper for film that i had forgotten about.
just all of these new happenings in my life and then i think to myself--
my college days have really only just begun. (whenever i say this phrase, i think about at home when i would say it and mom would start singing some song...probably from the 70's that had this line in it.. she knows what i'm talking about, love you mom)
i will get to add to this list for so much longer. the list of people i meet and friends i make will just continue to grow and because of that i have so much to look forward to.

the sad part about this week is when i went to the grocery store this past week and was in "quick mode" i got to the check out and realized everything i had in my basket was either:
1) frozen, (frozen pizza, chicken nuggets... you know the drill)
2) packages saying "just add hamburger" or
3) sugar.
 honestly i think this is the first time i have eaten chicken nuggets with bbq sauce everyday for lunch and felt alright about it. but it was pretty funny to feel like the true college student getting ready for finals with everything i can make and eat in 20 minutes or less, so i can get back to loads of wonderful studying until midnight..

 i have signed up for my classes for fall. it's going to be tough, i already know. but i know that it will be so awesome and i am going to learn so much. classes like arts through the renaissance, or survey of physical sciences, or philosophy, or anthropology..
but i think the class i'm most excited for is the spanish class i've signed up for!
 yep, spanish.
me.
speaking another language?
i will try.
and hopefully Love it.
i plan on doing just that.

Hope for Today

whenever my day isn't going very well i seem to get down on myself, trying to figure out what i'm doing wrong to make my day go so badly. sometimes it is just life. most of the time, things are out of my control and i need to be more conscious in recognizing the amazing things that i do have in my life. i have so much to be thankful for. i am so blessed, and when i have down days i just need to remember that i have the hope of the gospel in my life. 

forever i figured the word "hope" mean i "wish for something to happen" but having researched it more, and after having a lesson on hope recently in relief society, hope has a whole new meaning. Hope is the confident expectation of and longing for the promised blessings of righteousness. hope is being Confident that something will happen as long as we righteously desire it. many of my bad days are followed with a "hope" for a better tomorrow, which is completely true. i can have a "confident expectation" that each day can be that much better than the last. 

but today i need to work on making it better now. not just hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. i need to remember all of the things my life has been blessed with, today. 

i have a loving heavenly father who hears and answers my prayers. i have a family who is always concerned with my happiness, doing everything possible to help me. with that i have parents who are so good to me and have always provided a means for me to accomplish anything i've set my mind on. i have siblings who are there to give me counsel when counsel is sought, and who put a smile on my face whenever i am feeling down.  i have the blessing of the knowledge of the gospel, and a knowledge that i will be able to be with my family throughout eternity. i have a Savior, who suffered through everything i have and ever will so i will never have to be alone in any trial. i am blessed to be able to get an education. i have been blessed with so many different areas of knowledge, through college and hair school. i am able to use my talents. cutting hair, playing the piano, making friends, laughing. i am blessed with such good friends who are always there to give me a helping hand and lift me up when i am in need. i am blessed with an apartment to live in and a bed to sleep in every night. i am blessed to have clothes and shoes in my closet. i am blessed to have food in the cupboard. i am blessed to have running water. hot water to shower in, and cold water to drink. i am blessed to have a car to get around town. i am blessed to have a job, especially for how long it took me to find one. i am blessed to be able to walk and talk and run and laugh. i am blessed to have had experiences in my life that have made me the stronger, better person that i am today. 

it's so nice to remind myself of these things. 

my day just got 100 times better.

Motto of the moment:

it seems to me that i am writing one blog a month... i know you are all thinking, wow michelle, you should probably update us so much more than that because we are all So interested in your life. okay okay, i'm doing my best. the hard part is that i feel like nothing is really changing in my life. i updated the events going on in my life. 

but now that i get to thinking about it, i realize- life is always changing. you are never just sitting. you have the opportunity and choice to make the events in your life meaningful and put you in the direction you want to be-for me that direction is being happy. so many things happen each day that help me to be happy, so i know i'm not just sitting still, my life is always progressing and i need to stand back and savor every moment.

 i had a conversation with my sister last night that was about all sorts of things, but the one thing that really stood out to me that she advised was this: 

live in the moment.

 i feel like i take a lot of good times for granted and i don't step back to see the effect they have on my life. i'm always concerned about "what's going to happen next?" or "what should i be doing in order to make this situation turn out the way i'd like it to?". i need to just appreciate things as they come, then i won't be disappointed. my sister is so inspired. she is always so good to go to for advice and i'm so blessed to have her to talk to anytime.

something else that has been happening more in my life lately.....dating. i feel like i've been going on dates so much and i can't say that i don't enjoy it. it is so fun going out with new people and learning new things about them and new things about myself and what i feel like i want in my life. this is where my brother in law's advice came in so helpful last night.. 

motto of dating:  make him go more than 50 percent.

 it's an interesting concept for me to consider. i have a hard time stepping back and letting other people do things that involve me.. it's a curse really. i like forward guys though. i like guys that take the initiative and i feel like this is a good way to show if a guy is that way, making him go more than fifty percent. 

Seriously, between my sister and brother in law i am set on any kind of advice i could imagine! 

busy, lucky girl.

i've been so busy lately that it has been hard to get one of these guys written! so busy and SO amazing! 

 i feel like my life has been going up, up, UP lately and i am Loving it.. it seems like for every 10 great, amazing, fantastic things that happen in my life there is maybe one bad thing that happens. i'll take that ratio.

 everything has been working out and i can't help but smile when i think about it. 

i got a Job, which was a miracle in itself. i walked into the mall, going to apply for a different place, and just worked up the courage to walk into a salon that i had Always Loved but was too intimidated to walk in and talk to anyone. but this day, i did it. i walked in and the boss was there and asked if i would like to interview. right then. so she interviewed me and it went really well. i told her i would bring by my resume later. i went back later that day and interviewed with the manager. she called me only a short time after i got home and said i had the job. it just took a little courage. my feet pretty much just carried me in there. but now i have a job and i feel SO blessed.

 i am Loving school. it is hard, but so wonderful. i love learning and meeting So many new people.

  

so like i said, with every 10 good things that happen, one bad thing has to happen... i totaled my car a couple of weeks ago. bad thing. i was so upset. i'm okay, don't worry. but she was my baby. on the up-side i got to learn how to use the bus system...kind of... and learned even more how great my friends are. i am so lucky to have

  callie, 

and steph,

and hailey,

and taylor,

and maxwell,

and everyone who offered to and drove me to places that i needed to be. and who didn't want me to take the bus home from work because they were afraid for my safety. and who would find reasons to go to school on days they didn't have to so i didn't have to risk taking the bus and being late. these guys are all so great and i just love all of them. 

then i was car shopping online. on the phone with dad.. off the phone.. on the phone.. this went on for a few days. then my dad said he found one in logan, grandpa was going to test drive it the next day and he would let me know how it went. i got a phone call during school saying i had the car! i called my auntie when i got home from school and she offered to drive me to logan to pick it up that night!

  seriously how great is my family?? they are amazing and i don't think anyone even realizes, my family is the greatest there is. 

period. 

no argument. 

hands down. 

the best.

i am so lucky. 

blessed beyond measure really. 

and you know what? i love them.